February 27, 2010

I will be glad and rejoice in thy mercy: for thou hast considered my trouble;
Psalm 31:7

"Two days ago, I found out I have cancer."
(Probably the scariest first sentence I've ever written, not to mention starting a new journal with it.)
"Two weeks ago, I went in for my annual exam. I mentioned some spotting. I was scheduled to come back for a colposcopy, which included a biopsy of the 'large growth' located on my cervix."
(That 'large growth' turned out to be about 2 cm. NP's need to be very careful how they word things.)
"On that visit (2/19), I was told I would be referred to a gynecologist who may want to do an immediate hysterectomy. Now I know where the word 'hysterics' comes from. That was Thursday. BW and PD had me get a copy of my lab results. Even though I had no appetite, I felt upbeat. Upbeat through all the phone calls, text messages, etc. I called J first, and he surprised me by coming straight home. He said he thought I might need a hug."
(This was just the beginning of what would become a relational revolution for us.)
"Thursday night, I lost it. I started thinking, 'what if'. Exactly two weeks earlier, I was thinking, 'They'll remove the polyp, and I'll take antibiotics for an infection.' Now I was in full-fledged fear for my life. I was letting my imagination run away with me. I called JB. I knew she was the one I needed to talk to. I felt a little better and much calmer after our teary conversation.
That night, I woke up drenched in sweat. Friday, I ran into JR at J2's doctor appointment. Of course we take our kids to the same doctor! I realized my prayer life definitely needed to step it up.
I knew right where my 'God's Promises' book was in my closet. So i went to it constantly during my day.
I got connected with a woman who is friends with NH! She is the first person I've come into contact with that has had exactly what I've been diagnosed with. She has already been through all of this, and I can ask her about anything. I thank God that He brought her along - the friend of a friend! - when I felt no one could help me understand!"

Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved: for thou art my praise.
Jeremiah 17:14

For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds, saith the Lord;
Jeremiah 30:17